It has been a tough day... Heck, it has been a tough couple days, couple weeks. The atmosphere of the work place has gotten a little tougher over these past several weeks and I have this great urge to waltz right out the door most days. Still, I remain there because I know it will just complicate things if I do not. Let me say though that while most Mom's count down the Friday's until Christmas, this Momma is counting down the Friday's til she boards a plane and can say, "See ya Never" to that office!
I've been a little more emotional lately then I have been in a while. Stress, Fear, Worry... they are all things that are plaguing me at the moment. I am stressed about the money, of course. We have so far to go and the waiting on answers from grant decisions. How stressful! We have only applied for one so far and there are more we can hope for, of course, but even then the "What if's" are enough to drive someone insane!!
The fear of getting him within our reach and just not being able to stretch my fingers far enough to meet his... It is so vivid in my dreams. I see him. He is sitting there looking at me. Those big eyes. Those big cheeks. I am longing to kiss them and hold him in my arms and tell him his family has made it. We have made it to you and we are bringing you home, but suddenly, I can't take another step. I am so close and so far away in that instance, just standing there. That is terrifying!
I have great faith in EVERY aspect of this journey. I would not be here if the good Lord did not want me to be. I would not have found Reece's Rainbow and certainly, Wetherby would not have tugged on my heart the way he does. I pray for a Full Heart and Clear Eye's (Friday Night Lights shout out right there!) to lead me further down this path. I know WE can do this. WE will do this.